the value of waiting
[i've been meaning to post on this for a while now, but sometimes posts do take their time to form, and it is always advisable to allow for that. indeed, there is value in the wait :).]
my dad often says "jaldi ka kaam shaitaan ka". literally, this idiom says that a task done in a rush is the task of the devil. perhaps an english idiom that conveys similar meaning would be "haste makes waste". i have pondered over this off and on for some years, but since it is only now that i am learning to see it only begins to find effect in my daily life now :).
although it may be easy enough to see, a word on why this is true: when we act without thinking, or act in desperation, our mind has not had/taken enough time to communicate with our inner voice. our mind could be hurt, angry, jealous, or afraid, and if we act in this state, we are more likely than not to cause another suffering as well. indeed, as soon as there is enough time for the mind to touch base with the inner self, we regret our actions immediately. true, yes?
so my question, as always, is how do we incorporate this understanding into daily living? again, i believe that all it takes is mindfulness. when we learn to accustom ourselves to and recognize our inner calm so well (through practice) that any disturbance stands out like a 'sore thumb' (what does this simile really mean?), then the task is much simplified. as soon as we detect a disturbance, we must leave all else aside (including the 'irresistable' urge to act) and devote our inner self to resolving this disturbance. again, as the mother drops all her other responsibilities and rushes to take care of her crying child, we should abandon all our responsibilities to take care of our suffering mind. i do not mean that one must stop all one is doing and meditate until the knot is untied within, but i do mean that we should exercise strength and self-restraint (however phenomenal the need) to disallow any action that stems from a suffering mind. the act of desparation is indeed the act of the devil (tie in reiki etc.).
practically, for instance, we should refrain from writing emails to and/or calling people when our mind is hurt or angry on account of them. in fact, all communication with another should be conducted with purity in one's heart (tie in gibran, fourth mindfulness training, emailing with care, reiki etc.). these days, my concerted effort is to act/speak/write out of calm alone, when there is no irresistable urge. in fact, when there is an irresistable urge, however harmless, my rule of thumb has become to let the urge pass (before i take any action). this may take a couple milliseconds sometimes, and sometimes hours or days, but the outcome is (no surprise) always positive. this transformation (to begin with) does require a leap of faith, for we must believe that our urge will eventually translate to wholesome and suitable action. but the self-propelling positive feedback loop kicks in again, and all is well with the world :).
my dad often says "jaldi ka kaam shaitaan ka". literally, this idiom says that a task done in a rush is the task of the devil. perhaps an english idiom that conveys similar meaning would be "haste makes waste". i have pondered over this off and on for some years, but since it is only now that i am learning to see it only begins to find effect in my daily life now :).
although it may be easy enough to see, a word on why this is true: when we act without thinking, or act in desperation, our mind has not had/taken enough time to communicate with our inner voice. our mind could be hurt, angry, jealous, or afraid, and if we act in this state, we are more likely than not to cause another suffering as well. indeed, as soon as there is enough time for the mind to touch base with the inner self, we regret our actions immediately. true, yes?
so my question, as always, is how do we incorporate this understanding into daily living? again, i believe that all it takes is mindfulness. when we learn to accustom ourselves to and recognize our inner calm so well (through practice) that any disturbance stands out like a 'sore thumb' (what does this simile really mean?), then the task is much simplified. as soon as we detect a disturbance, we must leave all else aside (including the 'irresistable' urge to act) and devote our inner self to resolving this disturbance. again, as the mother drops all her other responsibilities and rushes to take care of her crying child, we should abandon all our responsibilities to take care of our suffering mind. i do not mean that one must stop all one is doing and meditate until the knot is untied within, but i do mean that we should exercise strength and self-restraint (however phenomenal the need) to disallow any action that stems from a suffering mind. the act of desparation is indeed the act of the devil (tie in reiki etc.).
practically, for instance, we should refrain from writing emails to and/or calling people when our mind is hurt or angry on account of them. in fact, all communication with another should be conducted with purity in one's heart (tie in gibran, fourth mindfulness training, emailing with care, reiki etc.). these days, my concerted effort is to act/speak/write out of calm alone, when there is no irresistable urge. in fact, when there is an irresistable urge, however harmless, my rule of thumb has become to let the urge pass (before i take any action). this may take a couple milliseconds sometimes, and sometimes hours or days, but the outcome is (no surprise) always positive. this transformation (to begin with) does require a leap of faith, for we must believe that our urge will eventually translate to wholesome and suitable action. but the self-propelling positive feedback loop kicks in again, and all is well with the world :).
2 comments:
my comment today has nothing to do with the contents of this post. but i wasn't sure which one of the posts to put the comment on.
i've been reading some more rohinton mistry and was struck by the following quote in it (attributed to Pascal):
"The heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of."
i feel this quote sums up nicely all the discussions we've had so far, the debates, the failure of logical reasoning to comply with instinct and so on :)
this is true :). also, the heart sees what is invisible to the eye. also, the heart has its reasons that the mind will never know... :).
this line of reasoning can always end all arguments.
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