travelogging

I had written that it would be a traveling summer. Almost two months into the summer, and with two more to go, I can confirm that it has been, and will continue to be so.

The month of June was spent in going from Delhi to Bangalore and back, Delhi to Nainital and back, and finally back to Bangalore. That took three flights, two train rides, and much driving. The month of July will see several unexplored lands, including Malwa in Madhya Pradesh, Bikaner (Rajasthan) and Kutchh in Gujarat.

The mind has its own travels to experience, as it constantly meets some phenomenally inspiring people who leave their imprints upon it in small ways and big. In that every soul has his/her goodness to share, every encounter is fruitful and inspiring. Sometimes a lot is gained, and sometimes less, but there is always a net gain. And when it seems not to be the case, one merely has to dig harder to get to the treasure. 

All in all, life is being kind. And I never forget to be grateful.

on humility

an excerpt from the byron katie book i finished recently. while some of her thoughts are a little challenging for me to grasp at present, i do appreciate most. i often like to think that humility is that force that will get us out of every storm.

All streams flow to the sea
because it is lower than they are.
Humility gives it its power.

The material world is a metaphor of mind. Mind rises into its projections and must eventually come back to itself, just as streams flow back to the sea. No matter how brilliant the mind, no matter how large the ego that takes credit for its actions, when it comes to see that it doesn't know anything, that it can't know anything, it flows back to the origin and meets itself again, in all humility.

Once you realize what is true, everything flows to you, because you have become the living example of humility. The mind realized is content to stay in the lowest, least creative position. Out of that, everything is created. The lowest place is the highest place.

...

Humility is our natural response to seeing what's true about ourselves. When we judge others and question that judgment, then turn around to ourselves, that is the fire and the purification. Our knees buckle, and we learn how sweet it is to lose - how that is the winning. ... Some people call it forgiveness. I call it sanity.

there is nothing more important

in times of stress... well no, i shouldn't say stress, because it doesn't end up going there. in times that i've been inundated with work, of late, i've found that one thing has helped tremendously towards maintaining an equanimous disposition, and that is this: to be clear, most indubitably clear, in my mind that there is nothing more important than its peace. that no matter what happens in the external world, that inner peace will remain intact. and no matter what comes and goes (for indeed, all comes and goes), my peace will not waver. that it will remain undisturbed like the calm, placid sea.

this exercise has worked for me beyond imagination, and so i share it with you. perhaps you too find yourselves battling stress on occasion. and on those occasions, i urge you to tell yourself with clarity, that you are willing to give up all but your peace of mind (yes, you must begin with that clarity). the rewards will surprise you, no doubt, as they surprised me.

how god changes your brain

an article from the washington post that was sent to me this morning. a few excerpts that i liked:

"... Newberg asserts that traditional spiritual practices such as prayer and breath control can alter the neural connections of the brain, leading to 'long-lasting states of unity, peacefulness and love.' He assures the mystically challenged that these neural networks begin to develop quickly -- a matter of weeks in meditation, not decades on a Tibetan mountaintop. And though meditation does not require a belief in God, strong religious belief amplifies its effect on the brain and enhances 'social awareness and empathy while subduing destructive feelings and emotions'."

"Contemplating a loving God strengthens portions of our brain -- particularly the frontal lobes and the anterior cingulate -- where empathy and reason reside. Contemplating a wrathful God empowers the limbic system, which is 'filled with aggression and fear.' It is a sobering concept: The God we choose to love changes us into his image, whether he exists or not."

"Newberg employs a vivid image: two packs of neurological wolves, he says, are found in every brain. One pack is old and powerful, oriented toward survival and anger. The other is composed of pups -- the newer parts of the brain, more creative and compassionate -- 'but they are also neurologically vulnerable and slow when compared to the activity in the emotional parts of the brain.' So all human beings are left with a question: Which pack do we feed?"

binding the mind

n was kind enough to stop by this evening, and we ordered north beach pizza home for dinner. north beach used to be the heavenliest pizza when i was an undergrad. i wonder what the fuss was all about :). it's just plain old regular pizza. with jalapenos and pineapple, too.

there were several dinner conversations (or should i say question-answer sessions? ;) that entertained. one of them entailed n asking me if i was placing too many restrictions on the mind. if i remember correctly, this stemmed from my telling him about my thought experiment of imagining that when i spoke, the entire world could hear my words. (this was done with the intent of controlling my speech, in line with post below, until i was able to let go of the training wheels. i still do it sometimes, for it appears to be a foolproof means of ensuring that the kindness gatekeeper is satisfied.)

so then - is it undesirable to place restrictions on the mind? perhaps, when these restrictions curb creativity and keep the mind from healthful, wholesome growth. but i do believe that if the restrictions are placed in line with the growth process of purifying the mind, they are entirely well-suited. an obvious example that comes to mind is that i now floss instinctively every night, thanks to the constant positive reinforcement of "i love to floss" (thank you for this brilliant idea, c).

some virtues we are born with; others we must cultivate until they become instinctual. no big deal. if honesty doesn't come instinctively, can it not be cultivated? i do believe i'm an honest person, but there was a time that i would lie about brushing my teeth. is there anything wrong with having placed a restriction on my mind to practice honesty? and what about vegetarianism?

the point, i think, is this. we need to find out who we really are - in acorn form, as well as in the form of the already-existent oak. this oak then embodies all our ideals, and pulls the acorn toward itself. but the process of growing into the oak must come at a (rather low, if you ask me) price. that price is in the restrictions that we must place on our minds in the form of discipline, to get from point a to point b, that is - from acorn to oak. to begin with, this may be hard work. but habit turns to instinct, soon enough. believe it, it is truth.

and the olfactory

earlier today, i blogged about my controlled diet for this week. at various points through this day, i realized that it not only entailed controlling the taste buds that craved regular, wholesome meals, but also the olfactory sense. berkeley brims with eateries, and as i walked through the streets yesterday and today, my nose became considerably more sensitive to the aromas that wafted their way in. this seems to take more self-restraint than i thought, but as tends to happen, it seems to build greater self-restraint as well.

the gustatory sense

when i worked at microsoft, i was amazed by my co-worker - a pleasant bulgarian - who would eat mostly fruit and nuts, and sometimes vegetables. in those days, it was amazing enough to have a vegetarian on the team :), but i would marvel at the immense control that had become second nature to him. they say that (if you believe) everything that happens to us happens for a reason, and that everyone who comes our way does so for a reason. no doubt this is true. and today, i find myself thinking of my ex-co-worker (are the hyphens right?) as i find myself on much the same diet.

the wise have stressed often the importance of eating 'right', though in different ways. while in india, i made a conscious decision to eat everything. and indeed, when one starts seeing things 'as they are', then dislike for particular kinds of food becomes a rather strange/illogical sensation that it only makes sense to eliminate. now that i am back in my own apartment, doing groceries for myself, i make an effort to follow the advice of the wise and wholly engulf(?) myself in fruits and nuts. following the 'middle way', i am still consuming one 'old-fashioned' meal per day.

i should add - this is not a 'forever' experiment, but is intended to last long enough for me to observe the difference it makes to the system and, more importantly, the mind.

heart vs. mind

the complete works of swami vivekananda are online, and i find great strength in reading them every morning, and whenever else i can steal some time from daily responsibilities. if you are so inclined, i encourage you to check them out here.

there is often a tension between the heart and the mind - when the heart wishes to believe and the mind argues that there is no basis. harder still is articulating one's beliefs and convictions before another, for sometimes, the heart has no words (and here, i am reminded of the essence of the little prince). i just ran into the lines below, and they offer a glimpse into swami vivekananda's perspective on this tension. reverence, love, and purity cleanse our hearts, dispel impurities, and make them strong enough that they may know the truth. this is the best i can do with my understanding today.

You remember in the Old Testament where Moses was told, "Take off thy shoes from off thy feet, for the place whereon thou standest is holy ground." We must always approach the study of religion with that reverent attitude. He who comes with a pure heart and a reverent attitude, his heart will be opened; the doors will open for him, and he will see the truth.

If you come with intellect only, you can have a little intellectual gymnastics, intellectual theories, but not truth. Truth has such a face that any one who sees that face becomes convinced. The sun does not require any torch to show it; the sun is self-effulgent. If truth requires evidence, what will evidence that evidence? If something is necessary as witness for truth, where is the witness for that witness? We must approach religion with reverence and with love, and our heart will stand up and say, this is truth, and this is untruth.

nefeli breaks

these days, taking a walk in the crisp/cold afternoon has become a regular pastime. i step out of lab, walk along memorial glade and up to north gate hall, cross over to north-side and get myself a mocha from nefeli cafe. i then walk back over to north gate, walk over to the side where there are benches and a steep downslope (so that the sun shines through without any obstructions, apart from the winter clouds), and perch myself on the most sunlight-laden bench. i stare at the ground and drink my coffee, letting my mind still itself. when the coffee is done, and the mind is emptied, i walk back along the curvaceous route to south hall again. the air is fresh and cold, i am grateful that it does not rain (though i bet it can't be good for the environment), and campus is ever-charming. the entire experience comes packaged with considerable calm and beauty. i might even miss it while i am gone. especially nefeli and its abundant character.

i found, as i walked back today, that the last few months have been increasingly successful in bringing my mind to a natural state of calmness in little time. i can't say it's been smooth sailing all the way, but persistent effort toward achieving this calmness has borne fruit. no doubt i find that unexpected blows do come, and there are definitely times when i think "gosh, couldn't things just make sense for a change?", yet shortly enough (and the more i work hard at it, the sooner this becomes), i find that i am back to calm acceptance. until the next shock-wave comes along :).

no doubt it is a never-ending endeavor. no doubt the shock-waves will keep coming. but this calmness and steady-state of mind is getting rather addictive. and it brings with it enormous strength within to allow me to be who i want myself to be. this, by far, is the biggest reward of all.

yes, bear with me, this is all a note to self :).

from the dhammapada

the dhammapada, for those of you who may not know, is to buddhism what the bhagavad gita is to hinduism. it consists of 423 verses that described the buddha's prescribed way to live, the life of meditation, and the practice of reason and intelligence. i hope i offend no one in saying that it speaks to me in verses what the gita spoke to me in shlokas, and what i understood from swami vivekananda's lectures on vedanta. i do like the understandability and the simplicity of the verses very much. i share with you here the verses under chapter 3: the mind.

1. As the bowman makes straight his arrows, so the wise man straightens his unsteady mind.
2. This mind is like a fish out of water which thrashes and throws itself about, when thoughts try to shake off their cravings.
3. Such a wandering mind is weak and unsteady, attracted here, there and everywhere. How good it is to control it and know the happiness of freedom.
4. And yet how unruly still, how subtle the delusion of the thoughts. To quiet them and master them is the true way to happiness.
5. Putting a bridle on the wandering mind, single-mindedly the seeker halts his thoughts. He ends their darting waywardness and finds peace.
6. A troubled mind, however, does not see the way. If a man is ignorant and filled with doubt, he can never find the true path.
7. But a concentrated mind, untroubled and calm, no longer struggling to judge between right and wrong but beyond judgements has no fear, for it understands.
8. He knows that the body is as fragile as a jar. By making the mind as firm as a fortress, wisdom and understanding will fight for him in every trial, guarding all that has been won.
9. For soon the body will be cast aside and what will be its consciousness then? It will lie on the ground like a useless log of wood, without knowledge or feeling.
10. Whatever an enemy may do, he cannot harm you as much as your own wrongly directed thoughts.
    
11. But once you understand, no one - neither your father nor mother - can do as much good to you as your own well-directed thoughts.
    

precedents

so often our mind rationalizes prejudices we form based on precedents. precedents are really the attachments the mind has formed and refuses to let go of. why? i wonder. when more often than not, they bring us only fear - the fear that things will not change. but they do, and they will - for change is the only constant. it only takes one chance to break the jinx, no? more the reason to do something than to not do it, so as to step out of a precedent and into the new, beautiful and changed world.