for those i do not know

i am curious to know if you think you know me, by way of reading this blog?

moment of discovery

yesterday brought me a moment of discovery, and resulting euphoria. i was at a pt. shivkumar sharma concert, where he was accompanied by ustad zakir hussain on the tabla. it was a surreal experience. as soon as i heard the sound of the santoor, cliched as this sounds, i was transported to the valleys of kashmir.

(note: it occurs to me now that that might have something to do with the "mile sur..." ad film where pt. shivkumar sharma plays the santoor with the valleys of kashmir in the background (or so they appeared to me back then). you know what i'm talking about?)

anyway, what was most special about yesterday was that i found myself making a concerted effort towards figuring out what he was actually playing on the santoor, and what zakir hussain was doing with the tabla. couldn't help but wonder what i'd been listening to all these years? yes, listening to the sitar, the sarod, tabla etc. but not really listening. what did it really mean to appreciate just the 'melody' of what they were playing? for the first time, i was able to dissect the melodies into notes and actually understand the raga from the rendition. this was a first ... an unforgettable first.

old friends

i love old friends. well, i guess i must love them since they are friends who i've had around for a while. but i also love the concept of old friends. i love being able to meet with them to chat over a coffee or a lunch. i love knowing how they think, and knowing when we're on the same page. also knowing when we're not - i guess it's all about the knowing in the first place....

today i met 3 old friends - 2 for lunch and 1 for coffee - and i loved it. a meeting with old friends is like coming home.... it's all about feeling nostalgia in the present, man!

more nostalgia

on the 24th was the birthday of my one-time best friend. where once i would eagerly wait for her birthday to arrive, and would spend much time and energy in picking out a card for her and decorate it with quotes, colors and what have you ... i have barely remembered to send her a happy birthday mail in recent years. (not that i ever actually forgot her birthday though.)

this year, i did remember. i looked for her name in my gmail inbox, found one mail, and promptly wished her, albeit a day late (it was the 25th already). i was moved to see a response that started with: "Thanks N, after a very long time, feels nice to be addressed dearest!". so little said, but it meant so much. the price of "dearest" seems to have escalated exponentially over the years. i wonder how much of that is due to our exponentially escalating ego that causes everything else to steadily lessen in importance.


p.s. sachin tendulkar also had his birthday on the 24th. he was my friend's hero back in 7th grade. and when i met sachin for the one and only time in my life, i took an autograph of his that i could give to her on her 13th birthday.

life backwards

when i think about life and how beautiful it was back when we were kids, and how increasingly depressing it appears to get, i find myself wishing life moved backwards - i.e. we started at old age and grew smaller all the time. and it's not only me, i've heard many others voice the same desire (however unreal and absolutely impractical it may sound). thinking about that some more today, i was trying to decide if it were really such a perfect solution to all of life's problems. surprisingly (for i *was* surprised) it really isn't. right now, i find myself dreading the thought of losing people that i love. ironically, that would happen all of the time - if time went backwards - we would keep losing the people we loved. nor would we have our growing wisdom to feel secure about, for we'd keep losing that bit by bit. argh!

maybe it would be easier to learn languages as we grew younger, but when would we practise them? in the 3 years we had left to live? and i could learn the piano, but to what avail?

in fact, we would start with everything (a finite amount, an upper bound we could never exceed) and steadily proceed towards nothing. my god! could a thought be more depressing?

and one more

the jung typology test is one of my favorites. i have taken it 4 times in the last 5 years, for no apparent benefits :). it's just nice to be a 4-letter personality type :).

check it out: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

i'm an ENFJ (33 62 38 22). you?

test-taking season

i took the classic iq test on http://web.tickle.com and found that i am a "visual mathematician". i love the title and wouldn't care to be anything else, in fact.

take it and let me know how you did. i only like to hang out with people with an iq higher than mine, so i'd like to use the test results for filtering, thanks :).

practise doesn't make you perfect

practice does.

this has got to rank as one of the most frequent spelling mistakes of all time. i learnt long ago, thanks to norman lewis, that practice is the noun form while practise is the verb. the english language is strange, truly, but while we're using it, we might as well use it right!

tex rocks!

one of my pet peeves is the abuse of the ellipsis. i am unable to understand why it is that people, once they start with 3 dots, cannot seem to stop. i looked up the following:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ellipsis

it's true that so far i've only truly felt at ease using an ellipsis in latex. 'cos latex knows exactly what i want - the right spacing, the right height, the right direction, and the right number. the link above attests to this. i also think the polish had it down perfectly, while the chicago style doesn't appeal quite as much. 4 dots are apparently ok, and that makes sense - not because the ellipsis itself has 4, but because it attaches itself to a period. 30 dots look obnoxious. please drop the habit this second. no, seriously!

the political compass

check out the political compass

i'm a ( -6.25, -6.82 ) at my conservative best.
where do you stand?

today

today is one of those rare days that brings with it inner peace. i am at peace with the world at large, and have renewed hope for my life. that i am indeed treading on a path i would like to see myself treading on... maybe tomorrow will erase all these notions :) but today, it is so.

i wish you all luck with the world too. i hope you will find your inner peace today, somehow, in some small way.

cheers.

reminder

i forgot that i had a clear purpose for my blog when i first created it. how soon one forgets!

overrated

blogging is overrated. not like i have any serious wisdom to share with the world anyway. it's just a waste of my time and everyone else's who takes the time to read. in fact, what if my blog with its posts is actually keeping them from doing something bigger/better for the world?

imho

my last post reminded me - i first came across "imho" back in my sophomore year at berkeley. courtesy ashwin mahalingam. i thought it sheer genius then, and continue to be amazed at its brilliance. what could be better than to empty your mind, say whatever comes from deep within - potentially offensive, potentially imposing, perhaps worse - and end it all with an "imho".

ooh, the convenience!
:)

silence

after being silent for 5 days, i feel like it's time i said something. actually, i have nothing in particular that i'd like to write about. but i feel a desire to post, for the sake of a post.

like how people feel the need to talk... for the sake of talking. and make idle chatter for sake of conversation. when a moment of silence is a moment too many, and talking about the weather forms immediate recourse. actually, i have nothing against talking about the weather. i find that much of my happiness depends on mr. sun, and when he doesn't show up i do feel like whining about it. just that i detest using fillers. "how's work/school?" is another... like you care, or will remember. hmph.

i'd much rather people attached a higher value to silence. it's just so pleasant to have a conversation that's real, intended. even if it's entirely non-sensical. if there isn't anything you desire to say, don't say it. smile and move on. the politeness criteria is satisfied. you and i would both be happier.

imho.

achievement

for the day that i'm rather proud of -

i waited patiently to find a parking spot today (at lunchtime) in the tresidder parking lot. not only that, i also bought the ticket to pay for parking so i wouldn't get a citation. it's been ages since i did things the 'right' way. what a brilliant feeling :).

i think i shall continue to skip out on paying for parking just to get these novel highs.

the mahabharata

this is how the thread took birth:
love for uday->classical music high->hunt for good classical film songs->"kahan se aaye badra" (in raga megh)->"ata shri mahabharata katha"

the mahabharata serial that b.r. chopra created years ago means much, especially to those of us (me) who associate our childhood with sunday mornings that began with the unforgettable "SnP nPm PmR SnSnS" (showing off :). anyway, this was just the build-up for what i really wanted to talk about -

would it not be interesting to create a tool that could teach kids the mahabharata? considering that all the characters in the epic are so clearly either good or evil, it could, in fact, be a good vs. evil game that kids could play, where they become the 'good' guys, i.e. krishna, the pandavas, etc. and try to beat the 'bad' guys, i.e. kamsa, the kauravas, in the process learning about the different tales from the mahabharata. there could be informational messages every now and then. all the characters could have their specific identities and 'avatars', so to speak. oh, pun, ha ha :).

why this would be convincing as a game - needs to be thought out a little further. why this would be an educational tool is convincing enough, i think. has someone already done this before? i bet. if you find anything, let me know.

more on the rainyness

what a devious little thing this mind is. today when i was driving on el camino, turning left on to page mill, i suddenly had a vision flash before my eyes. of bonn, in the cold, rainy/snowy mornings. it would just be getting light outside, and i'd be on my way to school. all cars would have their lights on, of course. the roads were all narrow - small town, after all. and there would be buses slowing traffic all along the way... (sigh)

i was so averse to moving to bonn, i remember. an 11th grader, enjoying school life in every way possible - academically, extra-curricularly, politically, personally - it was the 'perfect' life. was forced to tear myself away from it all and move to bonn, to a whole new world. it took so much adjustment, but i learned early and that was good. for every change after that will always be a piece of cake (or so it has been thus far, anyway).

i loved the fall, when i first went to bonn. there were maple leaves all over - when i first realized that they weren't just in story-books. and then there was snow, on the 18th of november '96. and it was beautiful...

anyway, enough nostalgia for now. i have to go back to the world of bugs and swat some by the end of the day. talk about rude awakenings :).

actually, talk about 'brewed awakening'... maybe another day :).

rainyness

last night it rained, and the world is new and beautiful as ever. as i lay in this bed this morning, i so wished it would stay cloudy and rainy, and that i could lie in bed and look out the window all day.

but good i didn't, because an even more beautiful sight awaited me as i came in to work. when i parked and walked towards my grey building, there was a striking contrast of green vs. grey. the dull grey exterior of the building, in contrast to the bright, summery, lime green of the plants surrounding it.

it looked photoshopped. as most beautiful images these days are ;).

update

hello, dear blog. i'm sorry to have forgotten about you lately. been a little preoccupied. i was just informing n that he was so full of himself when he mentioned he was only almost as full of himself as i was. (i assume he meant of myself :). this reminded me to blog (ref: trb's blog ;).
so here i am.

i am as immersed as ever in hindustani music, especially given the two new loves of my life. i listen to recordings morning and night, and burst into song at all other times.

i was bored for a bit today, and n gave me a physics puzzle to work on. needless to say, i solved it with ease. scoffed at the obviousness even. ha. like so :).

am in the business of taking good pictures these days. please visit smugmug for evidence.

b passed her quals today. yet another reason to celebrate for the world. yay :)

i believe that will be all.

i know... i missed you too :o

april 6th

came and went. i was blown away by the recital. and now i'm in love...

please check out smugmug for more.

dhrupad

and uday bhawalkar
simply rock!

worry of the day

:) well, not really. but p wants me to sing something classical for her. apparently she has a challenge to rise to. but i wish she would not insist so. in a year i will have the confidence to, i think. but last year, i thought the same thing and it hasn't happened. i wonder if that day will ever come when x asks me to sing something classical, and i say "sure, which raaga would you like me to sing?". and then when x says y, i say "no problem. would you like a tarana, thumri, or khayal?"

ha ha ha ha. i crack myself up sometimes :).

word of the day

'prismatic'

which reminds me. there was a time when i had a 'wotd' folder. i wonder where it went. or what email id it was associated with. isn't it interesting how email goes through phases too, representative of the phases in our life? people walk in and out, and frequency of emails from them changes in accordance. or, in the shorter term, one can identify the highs and lows of the relationship - either due to factors internal to the relationship, or external factors such as travel, deadlines, etc.

gmail(/google) should develop a whole set of graphing tools that we can use to analyze email trends in our lives. perhaps it c/would help us understand ourselves better in some way :).

what a day!

i met more new people today than i've met in years together. or so it feels like anyway. it was most exciting, somewhat scary. i have to pen this day in more detail later. for now, it falls under 'unkoshered'.

new people met: dana, maria, amherst-senior, creative-writer, doug gilbert, ice cute-guy, kihyun, laura, confused ldt-er, greg, hiroshi, full-time mom, olga from ukraine, angel yeh, berkeley guy with glasses, indian girl who looked familiar... and that's all i can remember.

observing all of these people was the most fun part of the day. how much one can tell about a person at a first meeting is positively astounding. a sign that i'm growing old, and have seen more of the world. not necessarily a bad thing. when age most clearly is representative of experience and wisdom, it becomes, in fact, a wonderful thing :).

the world is so so small.
and we're all standing in one big circle, holding hands.

"1 Comments"

i find it unforgivable for a site to say "1 Comments". pray, what would it take to simply parse the number, check to see if it's 1 or not, and then say "1 Comment". i would have so much respect for a site that did that. i'm on the hunt... if you know of any, please do let me know.

spring cleaning

i have decided to spring clean my list of friends. more specifically, i'd like to cleanse my heart of non-bloggers. they're such a bore. they don't blog so i could get to know them better. and they don't read my blog so they could get to know me better :(. perhaps they think they know me well enough. but that's no excuse. you can never be entirely sure that you 'know' a person unless you read every single blog post they write, thereby keeping yourself up to date regarding developments in their thought processes and therefore character.

i am, therefore, on the lookout for blogger friends. all are welcome to apply. age no bar... etc.

update

for those of you who care, i am no longer officially sick. i am back at work today - clad in a sweater and a scarf in this scorching heat, to ensure that there are no regressions. is 'regression' ever used in a non-technical sense? i have also never used the word 'clad' before. blogging has certainly become a useful activity in one respect - i get to use words i would otherwise be fated to forget.

'fated' is another :).

top gun

when one is sick, there is little one can do other than watch movies. a kind friend reminded me this morning of a movie i had been dying to watch for years and years (though i was constantly forgetting about this burning desire to see it). there had been so many good reasons to watch 'top gun'... the phenomenal soundtrack, tom cruise in one of his all-time great roles (his smile is set to kill in this movie), kelly mcgillis and her hair that, i'd been told, many a time, resembled mine. and yet i got around to it only today.

i liked it, it was fun. and maybe i shouldn't be as critical as i was of 'the namesake' this time :). i learnt a few things - about the mig-28s and that they can do a negative 4g dive. even added to my vocab: wingman, r.i.o., jetwash... (crap, is that it?)

this i have to say - killing goose was entirely unnecessary. (and oh, i hope you've seen the movie.)

falling sick

i have managed, somehow, to fall sick at this time of the year for years without fail. it is first the itchy throat, the inevitable cold, and intermittent bouts of low fever. (i never get high fever - my body's too good for that. um, touchwood!) it feels horrible to sit at home on a weekday though, while the rest of the world goes about its business.

but a perfect time to reflect on all those bouts of illness i have suffered at every onset of spring :). back in freshman year, i remember going to tang center to get myself a dose of anti-biotics. only to be told i wasn't quite sick enough! i remember that spring break was about to start, and i was to visit my masi in fremont. the friday before the break, sarika got me a sunflower (my fav. kind of flower) to wish me a speedy recovery and it made my day and week.

roots

"why 8&20?" a lot of you have asked (in fact, everyone). most people think it's my age. but think about it, i've been 8&20 for almost 3 years now! or maybe i took it when i was 8&20 and stuck with it. but i hate usernames that become obsolete that quickly.

anyway, i love numbers. passionately. they're caffeine to my brain. and 28 is a special number. i'll leave it to you to figure out why. and please. don't ask me why not 6. 6 alone is just not cool. and 496 is all too long.


there, the secret is now in the open.

on anon

i'd like to make it known to the world that i do not appreciate anonymously posted comments. if you, dear reader, would like to say something about my blog post, please give me the benefit of knowing your identity. it's only fair, don't you think, since you know who i am?

in future, unless the anon comments have a known author, i shall happily delete them all.