thank you, monday!

monday is my day to get back to my desired quietude. not to say i don't suffer monday morning blues, but these blues are really my push towards that place of peace i seem momentarily to lose in these so-called blues. it is easy to go out into the world of happenings and lose one's equanimity to the forces we meet. where i'm at, it is very easy indeed :). but it gives me that much more direction to improve, to become stronger, to understand what i am responsible to/for in different spaces. and while it is often great for the head to have unshakeable clarity on what needs to be done, it does occasionally get frustrating when the heart is lagging behind. and that is why we have the month of patience :).

reflecting, once again, on the zen thought for april:

So whatever you do, just do it, without expecting anyone's help. Don't spoil your effort by seeking for shelter. Protect yourself and grow upright to the sky; that is all.

yesterday, in conversing with a friend, i said that even as one tries to do for others one should really do for oneself. he said that was wrong, that one should try to do with others' interest in mind alone, not one's own. my impulse to disagree made me delve deeper to understand what i really meant (and if, even, we talked about different things). my current state of understanding is that when there is purity in the heart, the things we do are always automatically done keeping *everyone's* interests at heart. at that core, there is no 'me', only 'we'. it is key to do without expectation, however, without desire for a particular outcome.

my conclusion, on reflecting upon this weekend, is that i cannot please all of the people all of the time, no matter what. it is incumbent upon me, however, to keep my thoughts, my intent clean and pure, and then offer thus inspired actions to the god that i believe in. and this is what the last line in the quote above seems to say to me as well. that is all.