on brewed awakenings
a few weeks ago, i heard someone's reflection on how she believed that the best decisions she had experienced were those made within, and how she'd never had reason to regret them. this echoed something i'd read earlier in eat pray love. as i thought more, these insights directed my inquiry towards what went on within, and i asked myself how it was that my own decisions were made. even the seemingly inconsequential decisions that were about, say, washing dishes or doing laundry. byron katie's reading definitely helped as well.
we've all experienced moments in our lives when our bodies have become so in tune with our gut that they seem just to act on their own. i'm sure many of us can identify with the strangeness of waking up for an early morning flight and hearing the alarm go off just a minute later. starting from that familiar notion, i tried to understand other ways in which my gut communicated its way out without my mind doing any of its crazy thinking.
my experiment began with a kind of 'programming'. this was about 3 weeks ago when my week had piled up with deadlines and stress was always just around the corner. i started to feed my questions (/concerns) to my gut and instructed it to process them. i helped it also to understand my schedules, the time i could afford, the resources i had access to. there was no pressure, just belief. and complete and honest communication.
i found that the answers just came. some answers took longer than others, but given the limited resources i had (time, knowledge, people, etc.), my gut always found a way to communicate its answers to me in very satisfactory ways. i remember having a paper to write that was due at midnight. at 8pm, i did not know what i was writing about and i rambled - without direction, without motivation. i then decided i would let my gut do the work. while i busied myself with mindless tasks on the surface, i let the gut have its silence and do its work within. between 10 and 11, i found that voice. and then i wrote as though nothing else mattered, addressed all the requirements of my assignment, and submitted before 12. these 'brewed awakenings' have taken place several times since.
what i mean to argue is that there is an inner voice each one of us has, that each one of us can count on for all the right answers. this voice needs love and care, though. when it knows that we consider it important, it speaks with greater volume and confidence. but that love and care must be cultivated first.
to believe in this process, however, means to exercise infinite patience with the gut so as to align our actions with it. an enlightening read i found online this morning talks about decision-making based on patience. although i encourage you to read the whole thing, here's an excerpt i especially liked:
we've all experienced moments in our lives when our bodies have become so in tune with our gut that they seem just to act on their own. i'm sure many of us can identify with the strangeness of waking up for an early morning flight and hearing the alarm go off just a minute later. starting from that familiar notion, i tried to understand other ways in which my gut communicated its way out without my mind doing any of its crazy thinking.
my experiment began with a kind of 'programming'. this was about 3 weeks ago when my week had piled up with deadlines and stress was always just around the corner. i started to feed my questions (/concerns) to my gut and instructed it to process them. i helped it also to understand my schedules, the time i could afford, the resources i had access to. there was no pressure, just belief. and complete and honest communication.
i found that the answers just came. some answers took longer than others, but given the limited resources i had (time, knowledge, people, etc.), my gut always found a way to communicate its answers to me in very satisfactory ways. i remember having a paper to write that was due at midnight. at 8pm, i did not know what i was writing about and i rambled - without direction, without motivation. i then decided i would let my gut do the work. while i busied myself with mindless tasks on the surface, i let the gut have its silence and do its work within. between 10 and 11, i found that voice. and then i wrote as though nothing else mattered, addressed all the requirements of my assignment, and submitted before 12. these 'brewed awakenings' have taken place several times since.
what i mean to argue is that there is an inner voice each one of us has, that each one of us can count on for all the right answers. this voice needs love and care, though. when it knows that we consider it important, it speaks with greater volume and confidence. but that love and care must be cultivated first.
to believe in this process, however, means to exercise infinite patience with the gut so as to align our actions with it. an enlightening read i found online this morning talks about decision-making based on patience. although i encourage you to read the whole thing, here's an excerpt i especially liked:
The principle here is clear, but in the midst of our own confusion, we ask: “How do we know when to move?” The answer is, “If we don't know, if it's not clear, we're not ready.” If not moving means an opportunity slips by or a path closes, we've made our choice by not doing. If we're not ready, we're just not ready, and the decision has made itself.and here's one that wowed me, really driving home the true meaning of this amazing virtue of the month:
To better understand patience, let's look at the Chinese character, which is "nin." Like many characters, it is made out of two separate ones. The upper means, "sword blade." The lower, "heart." The meaning is: to bear something painful in the heart. The sword blade is poised, ready to slice. Backed into this corner, we cannot move. Therefore, "patience," or "endurance." When we don't know which way to turn, or where to go, any movement at all can not only further muddy the water but can also bring disaster: the sword blade severs the heart and all is lost. Thus, the value of patience.
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