on being thankful for evolution
the other day, d told us how he'd always think at the end of the year how much wiser he was than in the beginning of the year, until he turned 25 when he realized he thought this every year :). i've been through this realization every few weeks in the last several months - saying "i can't believe how much i've grown", and "how silly i used to be," only to move a few weeks down the line and find myself reiterating the same about those few weeks :).
it is yet another reminder of the futility of pride. when we realize that even when we think we've "figured it out", we'll think differently in a few days, or perhaps (depending on our pace of change) in a few years, it may inspire us to drop the pride and submit. to that higher self we know we are en route to becoming. if we keep ourselves open, supple, and non-resistant to change and thus growth, that is.
years ago, a had generated an email on change. (some of) it went thus:
the first realization was that i could not understand my own response :). it was vague and incoherent. i do not think it was an inability to express that made it so, but really an inability to think or answer. "never mind, " i thought, "let me look at the context. perhaps then it will make sense." no luck. then i read the entire thread but my (two) responses, and understood where everyone else was coming from. tried reading myself again, and still understood precious little. after multiple reads, i do now understand what i then thought. wrong or not, it's just not something i agree with anymore. what happened? change, presumably. that was the second realization. thank goodness, too. the third (and most key) realization was that i must think carefully before i judge the incoherence of someone's mail - that someone could be me :).
a's email reminded me of my rather terse post on change a few months ago. change is clearly possible, for we sense it in every moment, limited only by our capacities for sense perceptions. is it desirable? yes, for without change, our lives would - by definition - stagnate, correct? perhaps certain kinds of change are more desirable than others, but change, overall, is certainly desirable. is it inevitable? a silly question, i think now. silly me to ask that :). the most intriguing question for me then was the fourth - can it be directed? since, i have blogged verbosely on the subject of cultivating and de-cultivating instinct, but then, i was less sure. now, i will simply say - thank god, yes!
it is intriguing to behold though, that we most often think of change as something that happens to us, less as something we make happen. why is that? the only factors i can think of are inner resistance, fear even, laziness perhaps - all undesirable. can we not simply choose to be proactive about change? can it not be as simple as going through our inner selves with a fine-toothed comb, ascertaining what change would be most desirable for us, and then making it happen? cannot change, like happiness, be a choice too?
ok, that's enough on change, else this post may start to stagnate :).
it is yet another reminder of the futility of pride. when we realize that even when we think we've "figured it out", we'll think differently in a few days, or perhaps (depending on our pace of change) in a few years, it may inspire us to drop the pride and submit. to that higher self we know we are en route to becoming. if we keep ourselves open, supple, and non-resistant to change and thus growth, that is.
years ago, a had generated an email on change. (some of) it went thus:
most of us went to college, not knowing how much we were toshe went on to ask how we felt about this in relation to our own lives, and if we had gone through this process or not. this led to an interesting set of mails i revisited today, to learn from my yesteryears, and those of my friends. they generated much food for thought.
change...attitudes, values, beliefs, likes, dislikes...
we thought we'd finally figured ourselves out and then we left
college, and changed some more.
the first realization was that i could not understand my own response :). it was vague and incoherent. i do not think it was an inability to express that made it so, but really an inability to think or answer. "never mind, " i thought, "let me look at the context. perhaps then it will make sense." no luck. then i read the entire thread but my (two) responses, and understood where everyone else was coming from. tried reading myself again, and still understood precious little. after multiple reads, i do now understand what i then thought. wrong or not, it's just not something i agree with anymore. what happened? change, presumably. that was the second realization. thank goodness, too. the third (and most key) realization was that i must think carefully before i judge the incoherence of someone's mail - that someone could be me :).
a's email reminded me of my rather terse post on change a few months ago. change is clearly possible, for we sense it in every moment, limited only by our capacities for sense perceptions. is it desirable? yes, for without change, our lives would - by definition - stagnate, correct? perhaps certain kinds of change are more desirable than others, but change, overall, is certainly desirable. is it inevitable? a silly question, i think now. silly me to ask that :). the most intriguing question for me then was the fourth - can it be directed? since, i have blogged verbosely on the subject of cultivating and de-cultivating instinct, but then, i was less sure. now, i will simply say - thank god, yes!
it is intriguing to behold though, that we most often think of change as something that happens to us, less as something we make happen. why is that? the only factors i can think of are inner resistance, fear even, laziness perhaps - all undesirable. can we not simply choose to be proactive about change? can it not be as simple as going through our inner selves with a fine-toothed comb, ascertaining what change would be most desirable for us, and then making it happen? cannot change, like happiness, be a choice too?
ok, that's enough on change, else this post may start to stagnate :).
2 comments:
wow!...i like change being a choice and not something that happens to us :) this also reminds me of the poem you'd posted by jane herschfield '..white bull..' as if we'd asked for change ourselves in specifically the form in which it arrived!...another powerful post to munch on...thanks!
you know what, today i'm just going to be grateful that you are so lovingly patient with my posts :). i often think about how unnecessarily long they become sometimes, and that it would be so much better to find more succinct ways of saying things :).
thank you :).
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