i had a dream...
my hands still tire from typing out the excerpts last evening, but there was a dream i had this morning that left me in a state of intrigue and realization. i share it with you here, although i leave out some details in the interest of privacy:
i see a girl - youthful and energetic, with a zest for life. she is spontaneous, unrestrained, and excitable. as i observe her from a distance (she does not see me), i smile at her and think to myself - she's only a kid, she will learn. i see her failings, her irascibility and impatience, yet i smile with forgiveness as i also see her potential to overcome them, to leave them behind. i see she is in pain, i see her anguish and her tears, and yet i smile. although i surprise at my uncharacteristic lack of commiseration for that moment, there is a deeper and surer knowledge that she will get through this, that she will learn.
the dream progresses and i now become the active participant in it. as i keenly observe my own self, i discover that i'm in a state of imperturbable calm and happiness. there is only love and selflessness to be experienced within, and a greater sense of peace in the realization of that love and selflessness. i must not have expected to feel this way though, because i am pleasantly surprised. "it is okay, it is all okay" - is the overarching feeling of that moment.
and then the moment of truth strikes, when i realize that the girl i had seen in the first half of the dream was me as well. even as i felt only a oneness and understanding towards her, i had failed to recognize her. when the recognition hits, the entire dream falls into place.
there, that was it. although i have omitted some details (especially the critical though extraneous factors that aided in my recognition of me), i hope that you can share in the joy of my discovery just as well? i am reminded of the acorn and oak tree story that elizabeth gilbert writes about. how rewarding it is, to be an acorn, in the promise of growth that it holds. is there more to life than this - the slow and steady realization of the great potential, the oak that each of us hides within?
i see a girl - youthful and energetic, with a zest for life. she is spontaneous, unrestrained, and excitable. as i observe her from a distance (she does not see me), i smile at her and think to myself - she's only a kid, she will learn. i see her failings, her irascibility and impatience, yet i smile with forgiveness as i also see her potential to overcome them, to leave them behind. i see she is in pain, i see her anguish and her tears, and yet i smile. although i surprise at my uncharacteristic lack of commiseration for that moment, there is a deeper and surer knowledge that she will get through this, that she will learn.
the dream progresses and i now become the active participant in it. as i keenly observe my own self, i discover that i'm in a state of imperturbable calm and happiness. there is only love and selflessness to be experienced within, and a greater sense of peace in the realization of that love and selflessness. i must not have expected to feel this way though, because i am pleasantly surprised. "it is okay, it is all okay" - is the overarching feeling of that moment.
and then the moment of truth strikes, when i realize that the girl i had seen in the first half of the dream was me as well. even as i felt only a oneness and understanding towards her, i had failed to recognize her. when the recognition hits, the entire dream falls into place.
there, that was it. although i have omitted some details (especially the critical though extraneous factors that aided in my recognition of me), i hope that you can share in the joy of my discovery just as well? i am reminded of the acorn and oak tree story that elizabeth gilbert writes about. how rewarding it is, to be an acorn, in the promise of growth that it holds. is there more to life than this - the slow and steady realization of the great potential, the oak that each of us hides within?
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