this morning
was bright and sunny. as soon as i stepped out of my apartment, my eyes shut themselves immediately on being struck by the strength of the sun's rays. it was beautiful, too, as i walked to school. in fact, so beautiful, that when i realized i had ten minutes to spare before class, i decided to share a quiet moment with a bench opposite the playhouse, on my way up the hill. the sun was warm and gentle, and that part of campus was surprisingly quiet. quiet enough to be able to hear the sounds of silence.
there was a cup of tea sitting in one corner of the bench, rather curiously. soon enough, a lady appeared out of nowhere and sat next to me, beginning to sip her tea. she was talking continuously, and at first, i thought she was just talking to herself, because i couldn't hear a thing she said. suddenly, i heard a "you" and she looked at me and smiled, and i realized that i was meant to be listening. i'm not used to being talked to by strangers i suppose, and wasn't quite prepared for this. (why not, i wonder? after all, this is berkeley.) a flurry of thoughts went through my head in the next five minutes - should i try to listen to her? involve her in conversation? involve myself in conversation? should i let her be instead? am i afraid? why am i afraid? what am i afraid of? could she possibly hurt me? and if she did, what could i do about it? could i prevent it? and who knows, really? should i then avoid every stranger to protect myself from being physically hurt? what will that do for me?
in these questions that took me on quite a journey within, the minutes were up. i had an excuse to get up and get away, since class was about to start. then i wondered - am i relieved? am i eager to leave? and before i do, should i say something to her? if i walked away, would that be rude? i stood up, looked at her and smiled, but she was looking elsewhere, oblivious to my presence. i walked on.
no, i wasn't worried or concerned at any point. in fact, i was grateful to have the chance to really objectively introspect on what went on inside as i faced this new and unfamiliar situation that outwardly demanded nothing of me. the ripples inside were obvious to behold though.
an interesting encounter. berkeley never leaves one without plenty of feasts for thought.
there was a cup of tea sitting in one corner of the bench, rather curiously. soon enough, a lady appeared out of nowhere and sat next to me, beginning to sip her tea. she was talking continuously, and at first, i thought she was just talking to herself, because i couldn't hear a thing she said. suddenly, i heard a "you" and she looked at me and smiled, and i realized that i was meant to be listening. i'm not used to being talked to by strangers i suppose, and wasn't quite prepared for this. (why not, i wonder? after all, this is berkeley.) a flurry of thoughts went through my head in the next five minutes - should i try to listen to her? involve her in conversation? involve myself in conversation? should i let her be instead? am i afraid? why am i afraid? what am i afraid of? could she possibly hurt me? and if she did, what could i do about it? could i prevent it? and who knows, really? should i then avoid every stranger to protect myself from being physically hurt? what will that do for me?
in these questions that took me on quite a journey within, the minutes were up. i had an excuse to get up and get away, since class was about to start. then i wondered - am i relieved? am i eager to leave? and before i do, should i say something to her? if i walked away, would that be rude? i stood up, looked at her and smiled, but she was looking elsewhere, oblivious to my presence. i walked on.
no, i wasn't worried or concerned at any point. in fact, i was grateful to have the chance to really objectively introspect on what went on inside as i faced this new and unfamiliar situation that outwardly demanded nothing of me. the ripples inside were obvious to behold though.
an interesting encounter. berkeley never leaves one without plenty of feasts for thought.
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