on judging

i am tired of judging, and of seeing people judge. i am tired, most of all, of seeing myself judge another. i want it all to stop. what does judging do if not set apart, segregate, push us to greater distances from each other? right now, i want to defend everyone - my friends, my family - everyone i can think of. i want to defend them against every accusation that the world dares to send their way. so am i really saying that i want to defend the world from the world? is that not presumptuous? who am i to take that right, after all? in that, am i judging again?

it isn't easy. it isn't easy not to judge, to silently rule out cause for differentiation. not as long as the ego is alive. and so long as the ego is alive, so are we. and when the ego dies, do we die too? will i ever know?

i wish only to see things as they are - to shed every hairbreadth of distinction and embrace the heaven and hell of life alike. why is it so hard? what makes it so? is the hardness not just a construct of the mind? can i not demand the strength from you, my god? indeed, only so i may do as you desire, after all?