yesterday

as i was talking to a friend, he mentioned another friend p who would pray fervently that god send his way circumstances that would test him. the rest of the conversation was entirely memorable, but i'll let that remain private. for now, i dwell on this prayer.

i am fascinated because i could never dream to pray thus. in my heart of hearts, i do not wish to be tested. while that may directly translate to my not wanting to grow, i'd rather humor myself by believing that there are other ways in which i may grow. and yet, i acknowledge that no one can truly grow from others' tests as they grow from their own. but what remarkable strength it takes for one to be so, does it not? why are most of us so far from strength of that kind? what makes us so resistant to recognizing our own avenues for growth?