on patience

as i lay in bed awake, early this morning, i had this post completely written out in my head. now i try to recreate it to the extent possible.

if virtues could somehow be ranked in an order of preference, i think patience would come somewhere close to the top, if not the very top. in fact, coming closer to becoming patient helps us acquire several other virtues that we may otherwise have trouble incorporating in our lives. so how do we go about becoming more patient?

well, we could start with our own lives. the more patient we are with ourselves, the more we allow ourselves to grow - in myriad ways. our conscience becomes clearer, we become less agitated, less desperate to make a difference. we understand our shortcomings better and learn to work with them. we do not strive for impossible changes in short periods of time, because when we are patient, we do not rush time. thus, we become more honest with ourselves, more understanding and loving, and forgiving with ourselves. this is not, of course, to say that we are excessively lenient with our faults. rather, we try to work at them as a parent must work with a child. with patience.

once we are patient with ourselves, i feel that patience will automatically extend to being patient with other people. but if not, it can be a focused effort in itself. just as we have our shortcomings, others have theirs too. not to say that we are not all always trying to become better people. but this process takes time. we must give others this time. no matter how much we may want our child to talk to us on day one of being born, it doesn't because it cannot. somehow that inability is easier for us to understand than the inabilities of other adults. somehow we are more forgiving of it, fundamentally, but that's not ideal. instead of keeping expectations from other people to behave in a particular manner, and feeling impatient when they don't, we should allow them their time to do, to grow, to know. it is always preferable to give them the benefit of doubt than to not. doesn't everything have a reason? well, they probably do too. if we are more patient with others, we embody kindness, forgiveness and understanding. they too become more inclined to being more honest and sincere. it is an upwards spiral, no doubt.

finally, it is perhaps most important to exercise patience with life - that which is outside the control of people. first, we must understand that there are things beyond our control. that these take their own time. if we are more patient with these outside forces, we come to accept that (as an earlier post says from the bible) there is a time for everything. when we understand that these forces are outside of our control, we can more easily surrender ourselves to their power. and only then can we align ourselves with them and understand what action we must take in their wake. when it rains, for instance, we may not like the rain one bit - but what would we gain at all from being impatient with it? it is best to not try to fight it, for that would be in vain. we can - instead - carry an umbrella with us and deal with rain the best we can, but only if we align ourselves and not fight it. so it is with many situations in life, small and big. that these forces exist and act upon us helps to preserve our humility (which is uber-important). that we allow ourselves to accept these forces and align ourselves with them equips us with greater resilience.

not only is patience the preferred mode of action, it is almost essential to build it into ourselves if we wish to go through lives in a joyful, peaceful fashion. the good thing is - we can take it one step at a time. further, we'll have enough instances to practise on, on any given day :).