to "love" or not to "love"
i had considered a post on this train of thought a while ago, then put it aside. perhaps so that my friend could remark on it yesterday and inspire me to write with renewed favor.
many years ago, prior to the (entrance of the) email era (in my life), i frequently addressed cards and letters to my friends, and always rejoiced in signing off with "love". "lots of love", even. and other creative expressions such as "pots of love" and "buckets of love" and "infinite universes filled with love". there was a gradation of course, to distinguish between those i loved more and those i loved less, and to distinguish between times of greater and lesser love. hm.
there came a time when i became more sparing with this "love". peer pressure. when i looked around, i found that no one signed off with love anymore. countries had changed, relationships had changed, and perhaps people had as well. then followed the era of "thanks", "cheers!", "best", "see you", "ciao", "tschuss", etc. "love" automatically became reserved for those i was closer to. perhaps the distinction between those i felt secure to love and those i didn't?
and to cut (quite) a long story short, i am back to loving now. and "love"-ing. 'tis a relief to shed the resistance. a loose end is tied as a wall comes down. no, i do not shock my advisor with a "love" at the end of all my mails. nor do i sign off thus when i write to those who know me little and may feel taken aback, perhaps? (love one as they will be loved, right?) but with people i can be 'un'-professional with, why allow the hesitation? i am happy to share the love. and thus, am happy to express it. especially where it may be most universally acceptable to do so explicitly - at the end of my emails.
and blog posts, sometimes. much love :).
(p.s. my name, sans the "A" sound at the end, does actually mean "love" (thanks, of course, to mom and dad). and when the "a" at the end is simply pronounced differently, life becomes rather convenient. i can then simply sign off as myself, as i tend to do most times, and in that bundle in all the love i'd like to send. but making things explicit sometimes can't be such a bad thing. words, after all, have tremendous power.)
many years ago, prior to the (entrance of the) email era (in my life), i frequently addressed cards and letters to my friends, and always rejoiced in signing off with "love". "lots of love", even. and other creative expressions such as "pots of love" and "buckets of love" and "infinite universes filled with love". there was a gradation of course, to distinguish between those i loved more and those i loved less, and to distinguish between times of greater and lesser love. hm.
there came a time when i became more sparing with this "love". peer pressure. when i looked around, i found that no one signed off with love anymore. countries had changed, relationships had changed, and perhaps people had as well. then followed the era of "thanks", "cheers!", "best", "see you", "ciao", "tschuss", etc. "love" automatically became reserved for those i was closer to. perhaps the distinction between those i felt secure to love and those i didn't?
and to cut (quite) a long story short, i am back to loving now. and "love"-ing. 'tis a relief to shed the resistance. a loose end is tied as a wall comes down. no, i do not shock my advisor with a "love" at the end of all my mails. nor do i sign off thus when i write to those who know me little and may feel taken aback, perhaps? (love one as they will be loved, right?) but with people i can be 'un'-professional with, why allow the hesitation? i am happy to share the love. and thus, am happy to express it. especially where it may be most universally acceptable to do so explicitly - at the end of my emails.
and blog posts, sometimes. much love :).
(p.s. my name, sans the "A" sound at the end, does actually mean "love" (thanks, of course, to mom and dad). and when the "a" at the end is simply pronounced differently, life becomes rather convenient. i can then simply sign off as myself, as i tend to do most times, and in that bundle in all the love i'd like to send. but making things explicit sometimes can't be such a bad thing. words, after all, have tremendous power.)
6 comments:
thanks for this!
oh neh! :) i suffered through the same restraint at one point at having to shed 'love,' in my signature and re-discovered the joy of sheer abandon...of course within the bounds of what you've described! :)
marvin: you're entirely welcome :)
aa: i love the way you put it - "rediscovered the joy of sheer abandon". indeed. how can love be shared on any conditions, after all.
and love to you both :)
this was a lovely post to read. i remember the absolute dedication with which I used to choose how I ended my letters. now everything ends with a very bland "take care". As if all the love in the world had just disappeared.
Anyway, thanks for the post : )
PS: came here through marvin.
chandni - of course i remember you. and have loved reading your blog as well.
i hope you rediscover that love in the world ;).
wow - i've experienced the SAME thing!! now i can imagine that many people might have. if i wrote a mail to someone and signed off with love, and in their response, they didn't, i would feel like i trespassed their comfort zone or something... and then i'd stop signing off with love and i'd never do it again.
i'm glad you wrote this post, cuz i'd probably have never written about it (although i'm such an avid blogger).
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