the need to recalibrate
i've written recently about cultivating instinct, and having given it considerable thought, i now see and understand this process and its benefits in daily living. i've also seen examples of success in my own life - some easier, some a little harder. that's all good.
today, i found myself thinking about the opposite part of the deal - about de-cultivating instinctual behavior patterns. as i walked past the rsf today, there were folks outside trying to get students to try out the a2b electric bikes. it was a beautiful sunny day, and walking by, i felt like trying out the bike - for no more than to feel the breeze in my face as i biked around the pedestrian path they had demarcated for the test-ride. it was one of those moments that found me yearning for the wind, the world to 'go through' me.
signing up, however, seemed like a monumental task. 'not worth it' was my instinctual response. i felt so much resistance toward the act of signing up that i was willing to give up (what i knew would be) the immense joy of the experience. i am embarrassed to admit this now, but i was far more embarrassed to detect this resistance then. fully aware of the positiveness i would experience if i simply let go, i did just that. i let go. how strange it sounds to make filling out six fields feel like such a big deal, but that is just how it was. until i did it.
and that got me thinking - how are such instinctual patterns to be de-cultivated? there is no fool-proof method, of course, but gradually, as we become more self-aware, and learn to disapprove of instinctual reactions when they don't align with our selected ideals, and learn to be patient with that disapproval and give ourselves time - there, in that time, change happens. and with every act of letting go, we open one more door between us and the world. my days, these days, are spent looking for the keys that will open these doors. some are easier to find than others, but how empowering to realize that i have all the keys. i just need to spend the time looking.
in some ways, i feel that if we just applied ourselves to our spiritual growth as we do to our material/worldly growth, we'd all transition into perfect people. i mean, 8 hours of diligent work gets us the promotions we aim for, does it not? if we just practised our virtues diligently for half that time, is not the sky the limit? of course, if we walk the path of karma yoga, even that isn't necessary.
today, i found myself thinking about the opposite part of the deal - about de-cultivating instinctual behavior patterns. as i walked past the rsf today, there were folks outside trying to get students to try out the a2b electric bikes. it was a beautiful sunny day, and walking by, i felt like trying out the bike - for no more than to feel the breeze in my face as i biked around the pedestrian path they had demarcated for the test-ride. it was one of those moments that found me yearning for the wind, the world to 'go through' me.
signing up, however, seemed like a monumental task. 'not worth it' was my instinctual response. i felt so much resistance toward the act of signing up that i was willing to give up (what i knew would be) the immense joy of the experience. i am embarrassed to admit this now, but i was far more embarrassed to detect this resistance then. fully aware of the positiveness i would experience if i simply let go, i did just that. i let go. how strange it sounds to make filling out six fields feel like such a big deal, but that is just how it was. until i did it.
and that got me thinking - how are such instinctual patterns to be de-cultivated? there is no fool-proof method, of course, but gradually, as we become more self-aware, and learn to disapprove of instinctual reactions when they don't align with our selected ideals, and learn to be patient with that disapproval and give ourselves time - there, in that time, change happens. and with every act of letting go, we open one more door between us and the world. my days, these days, are spent looking for the keys that will open these doors. some are easier to find than others, but how empowering to realize that i have all the keys. i just need to spend the time looking.
in some ways, i feel that if we just applied ourselves to our spiritual growth as we do to our material/worldly growth, we'd all transition into perfect people. i mean, 8 hours of diligent work gets us the promotions we aim for, does it not? if we just practised our virtues diligently for half that time, is not the sky the limit? of course, if we walk the path of karma yoga, even that isn't necessary.
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