the final frontier

can we lead our lives preparing to die? on the one hand it sounds rather morbid, but on the other it gives greater direction with respect to liberating the fears that lurk in the darkness within. am i ready to die tomorrow? this question brings with it a host of emotions. but simply, no. for there are so many fears to conquer still, and unfinished threads to resolve within. i do not wish to die with unconquered fears, and if that priority is high enough on my list of 'things to do before i die', i pray for the courage to resolve them, to check them off the list one by one. is this any different from being pulled toward the already-existent oak? perhaps not, but i do have an undefined deadline. what if i were to die tomorrow? is there a moment to spare? i must do what i can.

indeed, i have miles to go before i sleep. the question is - how far can i push the walking? there's not a moment to lose, in fact. and there is no better time. i must start now.