redundant post

sometimes, in life, things do go wrong. depending on how attached we allow ourselves to become, we face more pain or less. indeed, as life goes, this is only inevitable. in 1st grade, i was attached to my mini-globe pencil sharpener. when it was stolen, i was heartbroken. thankfully, i am now over it. now that i have better perspective, i wish i could go back to my 1st grade self and say, "relax. it's only a sharpener. life will turn out just fine. and you'll be over the grief before you know it." since then, however, i have found plenty of other sharpeners to take its place - both literal and metaphorical. and so life goes.

is there a solution? of course. to be unattached. is it easy to do? of course not :). the last few months of reading (as you may tell) have grappled with this issue alone - to understand what detachment means, first. and now, i do understand its definition. but that only means i have 50 years more to go till i get there :).

in the meantime, i find it is easy enough to do this - be grateful. make a list of all the things you are happy for in your life, and you'll find that you can just keep going. here, like so. i am grateful for all of these things:

• i go to the best school in the world (unlike my less fortunate friends from stanford :p)
• i love where i live
• i have a good school life (and just had a great final project presentation)
• i have a great advisor
  
• i have people to sing with
• i also have myself to sing with, incidentally :)
• i have the ability to read and understand difficult texts :)
• i have tea!
  
• i get to walk (almost) to my heart's content every day
• and therefore, my back is in great shape (touch wood)
  
• it's rainy season and yet the days are bathed in sunshine
• i have an amazingly loving family - both immediate and extended - that i love very much
• my friends (even the ones from stanford) are pretty darn amazing
  
• i have a great camera, and it takes fantastic pictures
• i have a blog that never complains that it's had enough :)
• there is the sight of the campanile to behold everyday, in all its glory
• i have more money than i need to live a life of utmost luxury
• i have food in the fridge
• i can go on endlessly...
  

you get the picture. and you can do the same. we don't ever run out of things to be grateful for. indeed, each day presents us with infinite presents (pun intended). but here's the thing - when i have a backache, i feel terribly about my body, and miserable in general. i feel that life could be so much better and that it sucks to have a weak back. sometimes, when i have a stomachache, i simply cannot think. and in those times, i forget to be grateful that the rest of my body works seamlessly. there are so many more things that could go wrong. there are so many more things that could cease to work well. but we find it hard to be grateful, because one organ hurts. even when we know it will be good as new in but a few hours, very often.

this is the analogy that struck me in conversation today, and i felt sheepish and ashamed that i was so often so oblivious to the wonders of this body, to the wonders of this life. i know that i will still only occasionally realize what i have to be thankful for, but pray forgive me, lord, for the times that i don't. it is okay, sometimes, to have one part not work. we learn to be grateful for the infinitely many that do. and even that one part will soon find its way to catch up. indeed, such is life. and such is maya :).

this post is redundant, because these are truths we all know for the most part. we all have our pencil sharpeners to lose. in spite of this eventuality, i find that there is always hope, there is always beauty. there is joy in everything around us - in the stillness of the night, the newness of the moon, the smile of a stranger, a meal that dispels hunger, the sight of a loved one, making a 7-letter word in scrabble :), and so much more. until we can realize our personal ideals of detachment, gratitude is an immense training-wheel to embrace. and after as well.