jazz at jupiter's, and other things

this has been a glorious day, and blessed with varied failures and achievements. what boggles me is that if we are to be grateful for the failures, since they test our mettle, how is it that we must be grateful for the achievements as well? curious, yes? unless one just fundamentally believes that we must be grateful for everything :). i sometimes do.

events today were many - go to brewed in the morning - discuss project - drive back - lose some peace of mind - meditate for 30 minutes to gain it back - walk to school, focused on every step - discuss project - eat packaged japanese teriyaki noodles (to never do that again :)) - meditate by the campanile for a blissful hour - discuss project - discuss life - go to starbucks - bart to city - bathe in christmas delight at union square - bart back - discuss life - listen to live jazz at jupiter's - shop at pegasus books's holiday party - come back home.

but it was really much more than that. the magnifying glass i seem to carry permanently within made me realize numerous instances when i planned one way, yet life pushed me another. this happened through the day, as i continued to observe. i didn't wake up as planned, didn't drink tea as planned, didn't eat lunch/dinner as planned, didn't eat entree as planned, didn't buy as planned, didn't talk as planned etc... not to say i had planned my entire day out, but there were expectations as there are of any given day. and with all the plans that didn't go as planned :), i was left with much peacefulness at the end of the day. further reinforcing the fact that 1. there is not much point planning, and 2. even when things don't go as planned, they actually turn out better, in more ways than one.

i do wish to document every minute of this day, for it taught so much, but time is limited as is energy. i hope that the triggers in this post will serve to remind for years to come. three thoughts i'd like to end with:

in discussion with j, i realized an epiphany about patience: that we have as much patience with ourselves as we do with others, and vice versa. when we are patient with ourselves, and live our lives in calm and serenity, this calm seamlessly directs itself to the world. we become more loving, patient, kind, and forgiving toward the world. and when we are impatient with ourselves, this impatience reflects in our interactions with the world too. we get irritated spending time within ourselves, and we get just as irritated at life outside. we cannot spend one minute in silence and quiet, and so we treat our outer lives as well. it is quite stunning, the correlation. and just as soon as we make the transition towards inner calm and acceptance, the world becomes a beautiful, love-filled place. there is no doubt about this. indeed, i have experienced this change in totality. believe me :).

the second thought i'd like to touch on is the pride that comes with knowledge. yes, it comes often. especially to all those who specialize in a certain kind of knowledge and have some worldly claim to it (e.g. a nobel). but is it not true that each one of us, in leading a completely unique life, distinct from all others, has experienced the world in ways that another can't always know? i may have more bookish knowledge than a potter who never learned to read and write. and yet, there is the knowledge of pottery that i could not hope to learn in years. i am reminded of tnh's left-hand/right-hand analogy for non-discrimination. each one of us makes unique contributions to global knowledge. let's always remember that, and never be vain in our narrow scopes.

last, there was a strange coincidence that i experienced minutes ago. just as my mind grappled with the difficulties of focus and meditation for much of the day, i heard from a friend (who i hear from once in a year perhaps) who left me with a reading on vipassana (absolutely randomly) from his blog (that i never knew of). several of his thoughts resonated within, and i found renewed vigor in my quest for sthit pragya.

and a bonus thought to end this post with: the flow of knowledge from one source to another is incredible. ponder for a moment over the interactions you shared today - over any medium, and with 0 to an infinite number of people - and think of the flow of knowledge from one to another. think also of the myriad ways in which this flow gave form to your day. is it not awe-inspiring? indeed, it is yet another reinforcement of my belief that one must open oneself in completeness, to the air around us that can do magical things. one can never know what life will bring with every passing moment, each passing day. so allow for constant evolution. your mind has the capacity to evolve, so just let it free. let it fly where it will and explore unimagined possibilities, let it go to depths it's never been and discover hidden insights, just let it be... and discover the joy of truly being alive!