"this is going to hurt just a little bit"

"One thing I like less than most things is sitting in a dentist chair with my mouth wide open.
And that I will never have to do it again is a hope that I am against hope hopan
Because some tortures are physical and some are mental,
But the one that is both is dental."

for as long as i can remember, a constant prayer in my mind has been that no turn of events take me to the dentist's chair. the lines above struck a chord, even when i first read them in 8th grade. and ever since, i have prayed daily for healthy teeth (yes, i exaggerate for effect). not too long ago, i had a dream that my teeth were all beginning to shake in my mouth, and that if i opened my mouth - they would all fall out. they're all still inside - but one of them came close to being taken out today (and may still be close, though i hope not).

i can't figure out if there is any country in the world that has competent dentists, because no matter where i go and who i see, p dentist in q country will always be shooting down the work of m dentist in n country or else x dentist in y country. when i was in germany, people said german dentists were hungry for insurance money and were ready to fill every tooth they could get their hands on (and perhaps that is where i got most of my fillings). then at berkeley, i didn't have dental insurance, so i went to india for my treatment. occasional fillings were okay, but i was unfortunate enough to have my teeth attacked by a famous but completely horrific orthodontist in bombay (dr. ashok dhoble, should you chance to know anyone who might be considering being treated by him). he kept my teeth wired for a couple years, after which they promptly came back to their old position (or pretty close, at any rate). german dentists treat you when unnecessary, indian orthodontists rip you off. so far so good.

when my parents moved to delhi, we started frequenting dr. kohli's clinic. he is (ahem) the president's dentist. (i'm not sure if pratibha patil sees him, but former presidents do have their photos gracing the reception). i went to dr. vishal gupta, who redid a filling. came back to the u.s. and saw sudeep ghosh who thought the filling was done quite poorly. this dr. vishal gupta was apparently a gold medalist (i'm not sure where, but somewhere - and that should be worth something). so dr. ghosh redid the filling. thankfully, it still stands. then i came back to school and lost the privilege of the best dental health plan in the country. went to india again and decided to get a dental check-up done. turned out i needed a root canal. bravely, i withstood almost 3 hours of gaping open-mouthedly at my seemingly kind-hearted dentist and thought i was done. well, for the time being. 5 months later, the tooth is paining incessantly, with no clear treatment in light.

i wish dentures were like real teeth, and just automatically clean. i could do without dental treatment altogether then. na rahega baans, na bajegi bansuri style (i.e. nor will there exist bamboo - i think - and nor will there be a flute).

but seriously. i wish it really only hurt just a little bit :(.