this tree

i do not have a window in my office, but my co-worker across the hallway does. when his door is open, i can look through his window out at this tree - that stands single and tall. it may sound cheesy, but every time i am tired at work, dejected from little failures, or low in general, i take a look out the window. and i am filled with varying emotions -

in the summer, the tree would be bathed in sunlight. telling me to keep on going, for there was that to look forward to - the sun, the cool breeze, the summer-ness that i love so dearly. and now in the winter, it tells me that i have company, in my hard and long hours at work. its plight is no better, after all, for it stands there alone, endlessly withstanding the cold, the wind.

maybe i will take a picture one day, with my 350d, for all of you to see for yourself. it is really a very special tree.

beauty and the beholder

i've been thinking more and more what an admirable skill it is to be able to appreciate the beauty in the world around us. in earlier days, when i was 'appreciated' for an act of kindness or friendship, i'd rejoice in the appreciation, 'modestly' refute, and think little else. now, for some reason, what strikes me much more is how some people can go so selflessly far in appreciating other things/people. it must take a special kind of heart to be able to give praise so generously, after all.

the moral? i will continue to do good so i can continue to be appreciated and thus find those special people hiding in the world around me. and good luck to you with the same.

what is it about the marathon

that made it so special?

i was just at the chicago marathon - a spectator to the 40,000 who were mad enough to run the 26.2 in almost-freezing weather. it was a special experience. perhaps most of all because it was a culmination of the hard work and pain that n & a had put in to get there. perhaps because i understood it and knew what they felt. perhaps simply because i cared...

it was lovely to see people finish - in agony, in ecstasy, in seeming indifference... it was even lovelier to see the crowds come and support these people through the race, most of all - to be reminded of how much it means to care and be cared for. yes, i think that, to me, was what made the marathon so special.

of course others are free to have other notions :).

happy diwali

i'd like to wish the world a happy diwali for the weekend. may the year ahead be more joyous and memorable than the last, yet not quite as much as the one to follow... so things are always getting better.

i will be in chicago this diwali. in the cold and the wind. watching people run, and thinking warm thoughts of you.

:)

symmetry

my favo(u)rite word today is "symmetry". all you people reading my blog, please post a comment on your favo(u)rite word today.

nb: if you are american, you may use the american spelling of the word, and if you are indian, you may use the indian spelling. all other nationalities - i welcome you to my blog, and you are welcome to use any spelling you prefer.

think warm thoughts: think sweaters

i think sweaters are marvellous presents to give. when people wear them, they think of you and feel warm at the same time. isn't that ingenious?

petty is the word

this morning, as i drove to work, i kept thinking of various situations that had caused me some trauma of late. not one thing in particular, but several random things. realized that most (if not all) fell neatly into the 'petty' category, more deserving of a silent burial than redundant revisiting.

there's always a bigger picture one can look at, no matter how bad things get. why then do we bother with the little things? quoting myself again...

http://koshered.blogspot.com/2006/06/here-today-gone-tomorrow.html

i guess i tend to think the same things from time to time :).

any ideas?

sometimes, and especially if you are the kind of person i am, you meet, observe or come across people who are very like you in very many ways. different ways, and many ways. but things don't really go any further (don't read too far into'further'). you know that if you were both 16 and had crossed paths with each other, you'd totally hit it off and become best friends. but now that you're older, more set in ways, in friends, and less inclined to take initiative to approach people and say "hey, will you be my friend?", you just smile from a distance and move on.

is there anything else you can do?

putting things in perspective

a friend in india was telling me about an encounter he just had with a person who works as a mechanic (i think). he makes Rs. 5,000 in a month, out of which he needs to send some home, and survive with the rest. this should help me put things in perspective he said (my friend, i.e.).

i do agree, that we spend a lot of time worrying about inane things when we should really be spending that time being grateful for all that we have. but is it possible to always think along those lines? and is it even a good thing? can we evaluate every situation in life by comparing it to less privileged lives? should we?

i know that it helps on a personal level, so that one doesn't think too much too long about times when one finds oneself in a difficult position. but somehow, comparing my life to someone's who is less privileged seems kinda wrong on some level, doesn't it?

on the weather

there was also the realization today that the bay area is fast turning into seattle. just thought i would make a note of that.

on bad habits

i realize (at this present moment) that the single bad habit i would absolutely like to do away with in my life (note: the one i'd like to do away with the most, i do not claim to have only one in general) is that of allowing food to go waste.

when i got back from the bead shop today, i was absolutely starving. hunger was driving me insane, and i had the most blinding of headaches. the first bite of food was utterly blissful (and god bless the soul who offered it to me), especially because i had the feeling that my teeth had forgotten how to chew. no kidding.

but i had only been foodless a few hours. and i did have a sumptuous meal to look forward to. (we know where this is going - ) what about those who are not so lucky?! to think that i can waste food with such ease when i choose to, while there are millions out there dying in worse ways than i was (dare i even mention their plight and my temporary condition in the same breath) daily.

it all seems very very wrong right now.

as i go to bed now, i shall pray for the strength to carry myself through this resolve. well, at the very least, do it some shred of justice.

@ the bead shop

i was at the bead shop today, from 6.30pm to 9.55pm, taking a class on 'floating spaces'. it was an interesting way to spend some money, but thanks to a/s/d/a/n i learnt how to make floating necklaces today :). thank you, dear friends!

if i feel up to it, i shall also (b)log the steps on making such necklaces and add a photo of the one i made.

adios!

saying good-bye to summer days (sob).

i can't believe summer is gone already. there are leaves on the ground, in plenty, and a chill in the air that's here to stay. i don't know when summer began anymore, it seems to have come and gone in no time...

what i really want to understand is why winter-time has such unwelcome feelings associated with it. why must winter days begin in utter depression? why must cold be so unliveable?

it would be a marathon effort to condition my mind to believe that winter days have as much to offer as any other. maybe that's what i should make my project from now on. for the next six months...

people, places

i just discovered my favourite movie scene, or set of scenes rather. was watching before sunrise, and at the end of the movie, before ethan hawke leaves vienna, he takes a bus through the city. one can see all the places that were shot at the previous evening, when he and julie delpy walked around vienna - the circus, the bridge, the alleys with the cobble stones, the park...

i have sometimes revisited places that meant a lot for the memories that i had of them. most of these places seem to be in bonn, germany. like the zentrum, kennedybrucke, most of all the rhine. if i went back, to the naked eye they would seem like just a market-place, just a bridge, just another river. but there are so many many images that i can imagine would flash past my eyes...

felt like writing a poem on the subject, then discovered i'd already written one, or almost. quoting.

people sometimes forget
but not the river
it remembers

like the trees
and the earth
beneath the grass
and fallen leaves

when we go back
they will know us
as we will know them

with sweet nostalgia
that comes
from treading back
to forgotten times
never truly forgotten

miles - and years -
separate us, perhaps
still every meeting
begins with an embrace
and ends with a tear

so is it with people
is it not?